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The Brand New Testament: Delightfully Irreverent

The premise: in addition to being both a misanthrope and a sadist, God (the Christian one) is an abusive husband and father. The bulk of his labor is spent in creating ways to torture humans, changing the fabric of the universe to add new little annoyances into the world. He lives in a Brussels apartment with his wife and his daughter, Ea. Seems Jesus hasn’t come around in years, though the protagonist - his sister - still knows how to get into contact with him. Fed up with both his abuse of her and of humans, Ea determines to escape, but only after messing with some of God’s rules to change how humans perceive life.


Some of the film is spent on Ea’s escape from God and his subsequent attempts to track her down and bring her back to the apartment against her will. There is real menace in his portrayal, and some tension in the prospect of Ea coming into contact with him. But the real meat of the story is in Ea’s collection of disciples and how they come to their own meaningful, and sometimes surreal, realizations about life once they’ve had to confront aspects of their own existence.


I can’t say much more because I’d rather not give too much away. But I’ll say that it’s intelligently constructed, thoughtful, and treats a wide variety of human emotions and behaviors with a quiet respectful distance. Despite how cynical it may at first seem, the film ultimately proves itself to be at least as sentimental and sweet in its own ways. Recommended watching.


Content warning: verbal abuse, physical abuse, death, sex work, nudity, implied bestiality


Plot: 6

Characters: 7

Themes: 9

Spectacle: 7

Overall score: Eighteen apostles out of twelve.


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