This is a tired, predictable, dumb, formula children’s film. It doesn’t look especially good, the dubbing is awkward, and not a single good idea seems to have been had in its conception. In fact, maybe not any ideas. The greatest indictment of this film is how utterly boring it is: every moment in the film feels like a worse version of a scene you’ve seen elsewhere, not so bad that you’ll be laughing at the film, just uninteresting enough so that you might start to snore.
Don’t expect the film to make up for its lack of novelty with substance. This film is like a Kinder surprise egg: a low quality candy shell that is hollow inside to make room for more subpar disposable frivolity.
Even the pirates in this movie suck.
Plot: 3
Characters: 2
Themes: 0
Spectacle: 5
Overall score: zero innovation out of ten
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